I'm pants shitting drunk right now
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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