; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
