your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
