i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Houston, we have a squirter
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
