I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
