This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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