You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
