Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
