32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
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For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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