Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
