its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
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