I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
