9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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