Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
