In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
