Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
