I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
