and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
