Fuck appropriateness.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
