Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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