He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
