If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
