we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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