ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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