If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
