Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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