he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
it glows. i had to have it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
