The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
