Can Purell be used as lube?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
