yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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