The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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