This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
