Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
