I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
