he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
