forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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