Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
