i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
