i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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