This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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