i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Randomize
