What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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