My balls are so social today.
you win again, gameday.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
