That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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