I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
