Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
