quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
