Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have aggressive nipples.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
