It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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