I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
