i was born a porn star she said
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
