Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
