i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
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Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
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I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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