So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
