She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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