if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
