I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize