i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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