The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
