I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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