dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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