Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize