This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
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fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
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110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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