they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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